“Bug-ing” stories

A spider is a neutral option for both parties!

As you grow older, your wisdom grows supposedly. But there always exist some bugging problems that lie beyond the scope of your wisdom. You discover that there are bugging aspects of your life that can be dealt skilfully only by some expert (trust me when I say this).  Literally speaking, what bugs you should be taken seriously, and it is highly advisable that you form strategic alliances for the same.

My didi (elder sister) and I sort of shared a mutually symbiotic relationship when it came to bugs. She was (and still is) afraid of lizards and their kinds, while I was (and still am) phobic of crawling, wormy insects. So there are numerous instances where we would come in aid to one another when the dreaded bugs would imperil our lives. Lizards are not bugs, I admit it. But anyway, since lizards are creepy enough to disgust my sister, I put it under the bugs’ list for convenience. I remember her yelling and screaming when a furtive gecko would pop its head out from behind a tube-light on the wall. Sometimes the sinister creature would tease my didi by dangling its tail while being stationed on the wall. I had a feeling that these lizards kind of enjoyed while stoking panic in her heart. So what did I do when my sister started calling me for help? I rushed to her help and would employ the following strategies to shoo away the troublesome reptile:

PLAN A. = these sly lizards usually positioned themselves high up on the wall, much beyond my reach. When I was small, they were pretty far away from my reach. My plan A would be to clap and yell at the lizard to shoo it away. This would usually follow an episode of chasing the lizard across the walls of the room, while my sister would scream hysterically or simply vanish from the scene. Sometimes these lizards were too obstinate to leave the room and grin at me playfully while I kept on with my unsuccessful attempts. This is when I would adopt plan B.

PLAN B = I would arm myself with anything that was long enough to reach the pesky lizard. It would be anything ranging from a broom, rolled chart paper, clothes’ hangers or better still if I could get hold of a really long stick. I would bang my lethal weapon against the wall to scare the lizard away. This usually worked as a last resort, as the lizard would rush away trying to escape the bangs. My sister would give out a sigh of relief if the creature would escape out of the house. However, sometimes the lizard would run inside an electric socket or behind inaccessible hiding places (the tube lights were their favourites) and this would displease her immensely. A word of caution, in case you want to try out plan B. NEVER touch the lizard or bang on it with your banging weapon (whatever it might be). It often results the sloppy lizard to drop on the floor and it sheds its tail in the process (and I tell you it’s a very ungainly sight). It might also act as if it’s dead, and while you sink in remorse about unintentionally causing the death of an innocent lizard, the cheeky lizard might just run away!

My sister tried several things to keep away lizards from the house. She once heard that hanging egg shells on the walls keep lizards away. She applied the same without much success, as the lizards would rather amuse themselves with the shells. Once we got a gift of peacock feathers from my mom’s friend on our trip to Rajasthan. My didi was immensely delighted when my mom’s friend told her that peacock feathers are very effective in keeping away lizards. Back home I remember she displayed the peacock plumes like a hand fan on the wall of her room. It was effective for some days I remember. The lizards were confounded by the intimidating feathers initially, and I imagined that they would curiously peer at the feathers from their hiding places. But with time, I guess they got bold enough (or bored from missing out some adventure) to carry out their leisurely exploration across the walls. The feathers gathered dust and did not seem to scare the lizards any more.

Apart from lizards, my didi was a brave heart in facing all other sorts of bugs. This is when she came to my help when I performed my antics in the face of my horrid bug adversities. I dreaded wormy crawlers. My didi seized these instances to show her skills in coming up with solutions for those bugs that bugged me. The funny part (although this didn’t amuse me) about these wormy crawlers was that if they were touched by someone, they would roll themselves up like a ring. I guess it is their defence mechanism, and they tried to fool their rivals by acting dead. My didi was however filled with pity. She would carefully pick up the ringed crawler with a piece of paper (or sometimes even with her hands!) and gently throw it outside the window. She would later try to uplift my spirits by lecturing me about how these wormy crawlers were totally harmless and less disgusting (oh really?) than the loathsome lizards. I would remind her that I felt equally compassionate towards lizards and she would vehemently oppose my suggestion. Also, these creepy crawlers didn’t make her run about the house like the lizards did to me. When confronted, they would simply worm up into a ring (gross!). However, there was no way to keep away these crawlers from the house unlike lizards. So I counted on her in my moments of bugging distress.

Neither of us was scared of spiders but in my old house, there were some huge blooming spiders that hid themselves behind the sinks of the bathroom. I didn’t like the big spiders and strangely enough these creatures evoked pity in the heart of my magnanimous didi. I must elaborate why I felt so. When these spiders would breach our territories beyond the sinks, these things didn’t appear very nice at all. They would scurry over the floor and the walls with their eight legs, haplessly trying to figure out where they should be going. This would scare both me and my mom and we would start running about the house calling for help. If my father was not around, my didi would emerge as the hero in the melee. She would again apply her bug-management skills and capture the straddling spider. In her usual compassionate gesture she would bid farewell to the eight legged guy, tossing him outside the window, Touche! Once I remember didi cleaning the bathroom sink and suddenly calling out to our mom. My mom went to discover a huge spider planted itself on my didi’s vest. My didi unperturbed, seemed to be caressing the spider on her belly and asked mom to gently remove the spider so that it doesn’t get hurt.

It’s been over two years my didi got married. Recently one evening while she visited us, we revisited a streak of the lizard phobic episode we were once familiar with. Oddly enough in this house where I currently stay, the lizards are very peculiar. Peculiar in the sense that these tailed creatures almost, always run over the floor. Seldom have I ever caught one of these guys perched on the wall like lizards usually do. They would hide behind cupboards, the fridge or shoe rack- things that would touch the floor. So while we were chatting away on the sofa, a lizard streamed across the floor. It caught didi’s eyes and she screamed as usual. We pacified her, telling her these lizards are not that much of a nuisance (though both me and my mom have to clean up their poop trails on the floor everyday). To her relief, there was no other lizard running on the floor that day.

Anyway, I was always grateful to didi when she saved me from wormy crawlies. After she got married, the job was relegated to my dad. But for my didi this thing has got a little complicated. The reason is that both my didi and my brother in law are scared of lizards. So they have to take many precautions lest an unwelcome lizard enters their home!